basksele

I want to write a poem about love so I sent a mass email out asking people to finish off the sentence 'Love is...' Now I'm sitting here, staring at the email icon, willing it to change. I'm addicted to the answers, to the way people see love. I think I've really started something now!
xXx

I got my Sunday! :D I even got to stay over Friday night so I could wave them off yesterday. It didn't quite work out; I was in the car when they pulled away so I went to stick my hand out of the window to wave and smacked it into the glass. I'd only put the stupid thing halfway down. But I was there, I got to see my bestest friend at the last possible moment before they went, and that'll do me.
  It's so strange to see how I'm reacting. They're coming back next weekend so it will only be a week before I see them again, but last night I couldn't stop crying for about half an hour because they've gone. I think it will REALLY hit me when I start back at uni. whenever that may be. Or when I have a completely rubbish day and have nobody to run to.
  But it's not about me is it! More than anything I'm hoping and praying that uni will be everything they ever dreamed it could be (the good dreams, not nightmares), that they will find friendships just as strong as the ones they had back here, and that they will do as fantastically well as I know they can. 
  Three years isn't really that long, is it.

  My friend's going away to uni in 9 days and everything's gone rubbish. I know a whole bunch of people will have friends going off to uni soon, some may already have gone, but the thing about me and my friend is we're both terrible when we're scared. We fell out never to speak again a couple of weeks ago, made up this Sunday just gone, and on Monday we fell out again.  

 And they're not just any friend. I'm what you would call not a people-person; I don't see 'people' much if I can help it because the thought of having to actually open my mouth and speak to them absolutely terrifies me. But this friend I can talk to about everything, I've told them things I didn't even want to admit to myself and if I ever need to sort something out in my head (frighteningly often) I go to them. That's why I'm so petrified when I think of them going to live somewhere else, somewhere I have no idea how to get to, somewhere they're SUPPOSED to make brand new friends that will probably be far more fun and intelligent than me. And they will have actually managed to move away from home.  I'm scared my friend will forget about me, they're scared we won't be able to keep it up with both of us busy at uni in different places. So we're snapping, crying, falling out, focusing on the things about each other that we don't like. 

  Actually that's not fair, it's only me doing those things. They're agreeing with me about the bad bits of them and now I've realised that I care about them more than I hate the bad bits, they're refusing to change their mind. 'Better off without me' are horrible, hurtful words. 

  So now I've got 2 days to try and convince my friend how much I need them, and then it will be Sunday. The last Sunday before they go. Sunday is our day, I go over and we used to watch top gear followed by the long way round (Ewan McGregor, mmmm...) but now that's finished we watch films and talk and just be with each other.   

  There's this solid, cold feeling in my stomach when I think about not being able to spend that last Sunday with them.  But that's what happens when my friend gets scared of losing me, they push me away. It means my friend doesn't hurt as much, I think, which must be good. But it's killing me, especially as it's my own stupid fault.
  I love you my friend. I've hardly known you at all, considering Robyn was my best mate for almost 8 years, but you know me better and I'm closer to you than any one of my other friends. I cannot lose you, it's as simple as that.
xXx

I live in Crewe, I'm grade 6 flute and I'm desperate to find an orchestra! If anyone knows of one not too far away (I can drive, but anything over 30 mins is too far) could you let me know? I miss other musicians.
xXx

 So I was at a friend's house for a DVD night, some form of writing was required and I whipped out my beautiful new Parker ink pen. 
"ooh, nice pen!" Said somebody
"Do you always just have one with you?" Said somebody else, and before I could engage my brain,
"Yes, I'm a writer." I said. Then came the inevitable question
"So what are you writing at the moment?" At which point I noticed the fascinating tessellating pattern on the carpet and had to admit;
"Uh, nothing." For which I got the filthiest look that screamed, quite clearly, 'what kind of a writer are you??'

Well at the moment I'm a writer with no ideas. So basically I'm just a girl with a snazzy pen and a lot of blank paper. Is it my fault it's the summer holidays and I've just been given two weeks off work and all of my friends stopped asking me to do stuff because I said "no, I'm busy" a few times too often? 
 Okay the last one is my fault. But the rest aren't! How exactly am I supposed to get ideas by sitting at home doing sudoku until numbers stop making sense. Believe me I've tried those dictionary roulette stories, and I suck at them. Partly because I keep landing on words like 'antidisestablishmentarianism'. 
 
 Maybe I am a huge fraud. I suppose the clue is in the name - 'writer'. One who writes. Not one who lies around day dreaming about writing a hugely, awesomely successful novel that will make millions. 
 I dunno, I suppose I'll get another idea eventually. Here's hoping!
xXx

 

Okay, welcome to my blog. Until I find something interesting to say I'll just give you the link to the GUD magazine pre-launch buzz contest. They need 100 people to enter so go get on with it!

http://www.gudmagazine.com/blog/archive/2008/7/18/issue-3-pre-launch-buzz-contest/

xXx